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                                    25 Rules for Moms for Raising a Son


Thursday, January 5, 2012. To see the original post, go to Team Studer.

I LOVE being a boy mom. I hope one day I may say I love being a girl mom, but for now I am loving all things boy mom means. I'm naturally a boy mom and I could not love the rough and tumble, the dirty, the cars and trucks, and the humor that comes with being a boy mom more.  Thank you Lord for blessing me with the gifts of my sons.

A week or so ago I saw a post on a blog about rules for dads with daughters and thought it was oh so sweet and today I found something that spoke to me and make me tear up. I'm not a huge sharer from other's blogs, but this one is too powerful not to.



   25 Rules for Moms with Sons

Source : pre-schoolplay.blogspot.com via Tabitha on Pinterest

   1. Teach him the words for how he feels

Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment.  He'll cry from fear and bite out of excitement.  Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference.  Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion.  Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.


   2. Be a cheerleader for his life

There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games.  There is no doubt that he will tell you to "stop, mom" when you sing along to his garage band's lyrics.  There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts.  There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you've been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade.  He will tell you to stop.  He will say he's embarrassed.  But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.

   3. Teach him how to do laundry

.... and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt.  He may not always choose to do it.  He may not ever have to do it.  But someday his wife will thank you.

Source : offbeatmama.com via offbeatmama on Pinterest


   4. Read to him and read with him

Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents."  Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books.  Let him see you reading...reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles.  Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever.  Writers are the transcribers of history and memories.  They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important.  And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.

   
5. Encourage him to dance

Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals.  No matter where you go, no matter who you meet - they have some form of the three.  It doesn't have to be good.  Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.


   6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity
​

The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like
Batman and LaMarr Woodley) will surround your son from birth.  But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity (Officer Frank Shankwitz), and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).

   7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity

The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth.  But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).

   8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination and integrity

You already are all of those things.  If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this:  If you have done any of the following:  a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero.  do not doubt yourself for one second.  Seriously.

Source : simplymontessori.blogspot.com via Terry-Anne on Pinterest

   9. Teach him to have manners

because its nice. And it will make the world a little better of a place.

Source : swagbucks.com via Adriana on Pinterest


   10. Give him something to believe in

Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won't be able to be there.  Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone ; never, never, never.

Source: theberry.com via Chris on Pinterest


   11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle

like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.

Source: heatherbeadles.com via Heather on Pinterest


   12. Let him ruin his clothes

Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes.  You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable.  Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes.  Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.

   13. Learn how to throw a football

or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song.  Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.

Source : shanna-kaye.com via Shanna-Kaye on Pinterest

   14. Go outside with him

turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away.  Just go outside and follow him around.  Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions.  It's like magic.

   15. Let him lose

Losing sucks.  Everybody isn't always a winner.  Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't.  He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed.  And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids.  This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....)  Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose.  But that doesn't mean you ever give up.

Source : None via Emma on Pinterest

   16. Give him opportunities to help others

There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help.  Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities.  Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together. 

Source : data.whicdn.com via Meagan on Pinterest

   17. Remind him that practice makes perfect

This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life.  You become a better writer by writing.  You become a better listener by listening.  You become better speaker by speaking.  Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing.  Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip.  Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier.  Practice, practice, practice.

   18. Answer him when he asks, "Why?"

Answer him, or search for the answer together.  Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches).  Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself.  Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.

Source : 1.bp.blogspot.com via Maegan on Pinterest

   19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you

especially the wipes.

Source : babyhold.com via Katie on Pinterest

   20. Let his dad teach him how to do things

...without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.'  If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything.  You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers.  And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom,  you will stay connected to what is happening in his life.  Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.

Source : familyfun.go.com via Kate on Pinterest

   21. Give him something to release his energy

drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog.  Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff.  and then you'll sorry.

Source : bleubirdvintage.typepad.com via Marybess on Pinterest

   22. Build him forts

Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders.  For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.

Source : None via Tabitha on Pinterest

   23. Take him to new places

Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.

Source : None via Anne on Pinterest

   24. Kiss him

Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet.  They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day.  But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender.  So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, 'what happens in between that made you lose that?'  Let's try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they're loving and kissing them even more when they're wild.  Kissing them when they're 2 months and kissing them when they're 16 years old.  You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it.   p.s. (this one is just as important for dad's too).

Source : smallesthings.blogspot.com via Sherry on Pinterest

   25. Be home base

You are home to him.  When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back.  When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile.  When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times.  When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands.  When he is sick, he will call you.  When he really messes up, he will call you.  When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious.  Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun.  Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.

Posted by mary leigh at 9:22 AM


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  • Collaborative Problem Solving
  • Collaborative Problem Solving - "Treating Explosive Kids"
  • "The Healing Earth"
  • The Healing Earth
  • 25 Manners Every Kid Should Have By Age 9
  • 25 Rules for Moms for Raising a Son
  • The Liver : Crucial Organ of Health
  • Cosmic Nutrition : A Cornerstone of Health
  • Cosmic Nutrition and Children
  • Enhancing Cosmic Nutrition in Everyday Life
  • The Age of the Dinosaurs and the Age of the Mammals
  • A Cat Among Raccoons
  • A Sleep of Prisoners
  • Rain From Heaven
  • Otterly Lovely !
  • As it is in Heaven
  • Held
  • Letter of St Paul to the Philippians
  • Sistine Madonna
  • Bruckner Motet : Locus Iste
  • Bruckner Symphony #7
  • Skating Away .......
  • Morning Protein Snacks
  • Afternoon or Evening Carbohydrate Snacks
  • Taste Tips in Support of a Healthy-Liver Diet
  • Morning Snacks and Evening Snacks
  • Benefits of Drinking Water
  • Correct Timing to Drink Water
  • Ten Health Benefits of Cold Showers !
  • Snowbanks North of the House
  • "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak
  • Seaside Hotel
  • Calling All Angels
  • Children
  • Destiny !
  • Biography Work
  • Social and Antisocial Forces - Introduction
  • Social and Anti-Social Forces in the Human Being
  • The Drama of a Child's Developing Constitution
  • Good and Evil : Individual Karmic Questions
  • No Place to Hide in a Toxic World
  • How Much Harm Do Environmental Toxins Really Cause Our Society ?
  • Environmental Toxic Substances : What Every Parent Should Know
  • Interview - Rik Deitsch
  • Environmental Toxic Substances : Take Social and Political Action
  • Environmental Toxins : Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones !
  • Liquid Zeolite : Nature's Best Detoxifier
  • How Safe are Your Skin and Body Care Products ?
  • Liquid Zeolite : Product Review by Dr Gabriel Cousens
  • Links Between Environmental Toxins and Chronic Illness
  • The Autoimmune Epidemic - Interview with Donna Jackson Nakagawa
  • The Surge in Autoimmune Illnesses Linked to Environmental Toxins
  • Book Review : The Autoimmune Epidemic
  • The Fullness of Life
  • Introducing Threefold
  • The Threefold Social Idea
  • Rights Life Today : An Introduction
  • False Paths in Rights Life : Political Parties
  • False Paths in Rights Life : Problems of MINDSET
  • Leadership in the Realm of Rights Life
  • Rethinking Philanthropy
  • Rethinking Philanthropy : Ways, Means and Measures
  • Living Waters Wellness Resources : Rudolf Steiner's Threefold Social Idea
  • Planting the Seeds of Threefolding
  • The Threefold Social Order
  • Book Review : A Way Forward : From Social Illness to Social Health
  • Think It Right !
  • Working with a Verse
  • Verses for Individuals, Children and Groups
  • Overcoming Nervousness
  • Reincarnation and Karma
  • "Spiritual Science"
  • Facing Karma
  • Liquid Zeolite : Product Review by Dr Gabriel Cousens
  • Behavior Abnormalities Associated with Heavy Metals
  • Socipathy : further readings
  • The "I Am" Words of Christ"
  • Michaelmas
  • The Business Oath
  • Death from Birth Defects
  • The Conditions of Esoteric Training
  • The Many Benefits of Hydrogen Peroxide
  • The Six Subsidiary Exercises
  • Newborn Might and Strength Everlasting
  • Greatness in leadership : looking to examples from the past
  • Keeping Our Own Side of the Street Clean
  • Meditation for Courage
  • Education for Adolescents
  • George Washington's Prayer
  • Allergic Sensitivity : The Immune Response as a Learning Process
  • Prevention and Immunization
  • Preventing Illness and Promoting Health
  • Mobile Communications and Electromagnetic Pollution
  • The Meaning and Purpose of Illness
  • Permaculture !
  • Fever and its Treatment
  • To Romance Your World
  • Beauty - Images from Ruta Hallam
  • Support Living Waters Wellness !
  • Building Your Personal Wellness Program
  • A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall
  • Christianity
  • Beauty - Images from Ruta Hallam
  • Trauma-Informed Care : What ​ It Is, and Why It’s Important
  • Take This Tough Challenge - Or Don't Vote !
  • Culture, Law and Economics
  • About Novalis
  • The InPower Movement
  • Eros and Fable : Novalis
  • Psalm 139
  • Prayer
  • Goodness, Beauty and Truth
  • Blog
  • ​What to DO about the FLU
  • Practical Training in Thought
  • The Education of the Child
  • John the Baptist
  • The Path of Higher Knowledge
  • SBAR
  • New Page
  • The Prologue of the Gospel of St John
  • Three Verses for Hard Times
  • The Creed of Rudolf Steiner
  • LWW Arts and Letters